On a Downhill Slope

This past week I have pushed myself to a new level in my progress! On Monday I began Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, on Tuesday I did day 2, on Wednesday I did Jillian's No More Trouble Zones workout, on Thursday I had kickboxing, Friday was my rest day, and yesterday I did day 3 of the shred. I'm getting into a really wonderful place of exercise. It used to be that 10 minutes of cardio was all I could stand. Now I'm doing up to 50 on a daily basis! This is a huge milestone for me and it's definitely paying off because I'm seeing great results.

The best thing that's happened since I began this quest in February was this morning. My scale showed something that shocked and thrilled me! I stepped on and waited as it calculated the weight and then it flashed a number that I haven't seen in six years. It was the weight I was as I graduated high school in 2006! All of the damage I've done to my body during college and after has melted away, leaving the number I've been trying to get back to for so long.

I'm not sure how many people know this but the summer before I began college, I went to a personal trainer 3 times a week. I cried my first day with her because we were talking about why I wanted to lose weight before getting to ACU. I told her things like "I don't want the people I meet to judge me", "I want a fresh start in college", and "I want to be happier when I'm there". I remember feeling terrified that I'd get to Texas and have the same experiences I did in high school of having to fight to overcome all kinds of obstacles to chase my dreams.

It makes me sad to think about that 18-year-old me, so upset about the way things had gone up until that point. I wish I could say that I achieved my goal and went to college a healthier, happier person but we all know the ending of that story. I gained over 40 pounds within the next few years and began wishing just to be back where I was during that summer. That's amazing isn't it? I look back at pictures of myself in high school and think 'Wow, I wish I looked as good as I did then'. We never see our true beauty when we're there. We have to be far away from where we began to see how good it was.

This time around... I appreciate it. Now that I'm here, I am savoring every second of this! This time I have my head in the right place. It's not about liking the way I look anymore, it's about loving the way I feel. Every day I get stronger. Every day I feel more confident. Every day I am more certain of what I can achieve.

Though I look like who I was, I've never been this person before. That's the best part.