Power of Perception

It's very strange how my brain reacts to food and my lifestyle with it. If I'm not trying to stay healthy and watch my weight, I can go a few hours without eating and not feel hungry. Then when I get around to eating my meals,  I don't pay attention to the nutritional value as long as it tastes yummy. But when I am trying to be health conscious, I'll eat breakfast (small bowl of cereal and an apple... definitely enough to sustain me) and 20 minutes later my stomach is growling and I'm feeling so hungry that I'd give anything for a bag of chips! My brain loves to play this game with me, making sticking with a meal plan so difficult. I get hungry, I crave, and I give in to it. 

Someone once told me that if you're craving, you're not really hungry. If you were hungry, you'd eat whatever your body needs as opposed to what sounds like it will taste the best. It's all in your head! That's something that I've been trying to remember in the past week as I've been going through this process. My brain is so used to doing what it wants and what makes the emotional and stress binge eater happy. It doesn't know how to react when it's faced with something new. The food choices I made before were to comfort whereas the food choices I'm making now are to heal. Naturally, my brain wants comfort and a quick fix. That's the mind of an addict talking. But the mind of a woman in rehabilitation needs a lasting healing. So I have to actively re-program my thoughts to shift into that head space.

The other night, I had finished dinner and was still under on my calorie intake. My thoughts immediately went to dessert and how much I wanted ice cream. I was craving something sweet! I didn't want to give in to this and tried to find a healthy alternative that would be within my calorie levels for the day and help get away from that feeling of need for ice cream. I decided on fat free Yoplait strawberry yogurt. Now, the way I used to eat ice cream was hard core. Straight from the bucket with a spoon, relaxing on the couch, and probably eating the entire thing in one sitting. So I tricked myself. I buy my yogurt in the larger tubs, that way I can easily measure when I'm making my snacks of fruit medleys. I got it out, got a regular kitchen spoon, and stood in the kitchen to eat. I ate three spoonfuls of this yogurt straight out of the tub as if it were strawberry ice cream. I told myself it was just as delicious and satisfying and you know what? For the first time ever, it actually was! Less than 200 calories and I didn't feel hungry afterwards.

I've tried similar tricks on my mind before but never quite this actively. I think the reason it's working this time around is because I'm in a really great place mentally! In the past when I tried to lose weight, it was always for some shallow reason. I wanted to do it because I thought others were judging me, or I wanted to look prettier, or I wanted to impress someone, or I felt like I had to. This time, I have something definitive to be working towards. I know that at the end of this year, I'm going to be at my goal weight if I just take it a little at a time and kick it into high gear when I get to the Biggest Loser Resort.

Before, I always wanted the diet that would work the quickest. How can I lose this much weight in this many months? Again, that's the mind of an addict. How can I do this quickly so I can impress someone and be done with it and get back to my drug? Of course I wasn't sticking to my diets! I never intended to make it a lasting life change. This time around, I'm in the proper place. I want to do this to be healthy forever. I'm not doing it for anyone else but myself. I'm healing not only my body but my mind and soul. This is something that every day I WANT to make last a lifetime. I actively pursue it as not just a goal with a stopping point but something I plan to continue after I'm at the correct weight. And that's what's working!

My lovely friend Katie and I were talking the other night about that perception of weight loss (she's jumped in to be on this journey with me, whoop whoop! Welcome aboard!). I was telling her how easy this is becoming for me because I'm not pressuring myself to hit big numbers. Any weight loss is great loss! If I can get anywhere between 5-10 pounds a month, then great and anything extra is just a bonus. We talked about how 10 months really isn't that long of a time when you think about it and when you break it down into small numbers every month, it definitely adds up to big numbers! All we have to do is focus on this month and pushing onward. One month at a time and before you know it, you're there! If we can just keep that perception in our heads of 'Hey, you know what, this is actually really simple' then it becomes simple.

I know sometimes we get discouraged because we look at a scale and see only a few pounds down. That causes a lot of people to give up! I know it's been that way for me. But if we go off of putting a few pounds at a time towards an ultimate goal, I promise you'll begin to see it differently. Go by how you feel at the end of that month, knowing you're that much lighter and healthier! Slowly but SURELY and all in the right time, we will reach our goals!